Saturday, March 21, 2009

Lazarus...excuse me...Lazarus?

The big day came and began without incident other than the fact I was starving.  Funny how you can go without coffee and biscuits anytime and it doesn't bother you, unless you aren't allowed to have coffee and biscuits and then suddenly it's a very big deal.  We drove the two and a half hours to the Moncton hospital on what had to be one of our windiest days ever.  We wore our lighter winter coats thinking of the long trip in the truck but regretted that decision quickly once we found our parking spot.  It had to be the coldest walk I have ever made and that includes some wicked Edmonton winters, walking the night beat.

We checked in without too much incident and the pre-op preparations began, weigh this, measure that, temperature this, remove that, put this on, show the world your butt, scare little children, all the usual stuff.  They made me remove my wedding ring, I guess they figured it might jump off my finger and into one of the holes they were gonna make in me.

A quick goodbye to Lynn and off I went, a busy little room, this operating room, lotsa folks around and I hopped (ok, I didn't hop) onto a bed the width of a playing card and they had me outstretch my arms, which helped me not feel like I was going to fall off and probably allowed them access to veins 'n things, I'm not sure because although I didn't know it, I was not long for the land of the concious.  I've always thought they ask you to count backwards or something but it was nothing so complicated, breathe, he said and I was gone.

Amazing, like a light switch being turned off, one minute you are concious, aware and thinking and the next, you aren't.  I have never experienced anything like it and I hope, never have to again, I still find it a little disconcerting.

I awake later, with my wedding ring back on and Lynn is there, apparently I have been awake for some time but I have no recollection of it.  Everything has gone well, the kidney, along with its cancerous hitchiker is gone and I'm in a recovery room with several others, including a woman who had the same operation done just before me.  Now it's just a matter of time for recovery.  The doctor had said I would be out of it for a bit but by saturday I would be raring to go and with luck I'd be able to go home saturday night.

I'm not going to recount those days, suffice it to say that when Lynn says if men had to have babies we'd be extinct, she'd be right. While I was playing push the pain button as often as humanly possible the lady across from me was putting on her makeup, getting out of bed, going for walks and possibly dancing lessons.  I was glad when they transferred me out of there, she was making me tired :)

I did get to go home saturday night, my angel came to get me and we made tracks, I'd like to say our getaway was speedy but it was more like Tim Conway's old man routine but eventually I got into the truck for the trip home.  A bazillion bumps later and we were home.  The furry throng was waiting and I was very happy to be home.
Although I didn't perk up as quickly as the doctor had said, every day gets a little easier.  I can cough now without falling down or crying like a girl and breathing is getting easier everyday.

I managed to lose twenty pounds during all of this and although Lynn says a kidney isn't that big, I'd like to think it was :)

The staples (yup, no stitches for old fat folks) come out on monday and after testing the adhesive strength of these bandages, I'm not looking forward to it :)
Thanks for the well wishes, life is moving back towards normal slowly but surely and normalcy is something to look forward to.  Take care everyone, we'll type again soon.

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